Emotional Intelligence

According to a research conducted by TalentSmart emotional intelligence is the strongest factor contributing to high performance and happiness both at the workplace and at home.

Travis Bradberry, an EI expert, conducted a study which proved that 90% of best performers at the workplace have high EQ (emotional intelligence IQ). He also showed that on the other side of the scale only 20% of worst performers had good emotional intelligence skills.

Multiple studies highlighted a direct relationship between income levels and emotional intelligence. People with high emotional intelligence get paid more. Much more. But it's not all about the money. They get the jobs they want, they are much happier, and they wake up each day looking forward to what's ahead. Does it sound like you? If not so, chances are your EI skills need improvement.

According to multiple research studies, people with high emotional intelligence are less susceptible to diseases and recover from illnesses much better. Anxiety, stress, and anger destroy immune system and create serious health problems. When stressed, your mind releases special chemicals signalling the body to decrease the intensity when fighting a disease.

On the other hand, emotionally intelligent people have less problems with health, higher energy levels, and stronger immune system. This translates to a happy and fulfilling life - a dream many people believe can't be achieved.

EI gives you a breath of fresh air in a dangerous mix of uncertainty, worry, and disbelief. It clears your confidence lungs. It boosts your self-belief. It's an important ingredient in raising your self-esteem and believing in your true potential. How does it work?

It's a very simple process.

The more you learn human emotions, the better you become at blocking negative situations, people, and events. Your ability to inspire others and lead by example improves as well. You begin to truly appreciate your own value. You stop blaming and complaining. You take full responsibility for your life. Granted, you need other qualities to sky-rocket your confidence and self-esteem. Persistence, burning desire for personal excellence, and enthusiasm all work together with EI on growing your self-belief system.

Daniel Goleman, an internationally recognized expert in EI, came up with a model comprising 5 major components.

1. Self-awareness - the ability to recognize your own emotions and their impact on your thoughts, behaviour, and relationships with other people. Self-aware people don't react emotionally concentrating on positive and constructive behaviour instead. They control their emotions. Not the other way around.

2. Self-regulation - the quality of thinking before acting, controlling and redirecting emotions, anticipating consequences of emotional responses, and adapting to changing circumstances. Self-regulating people don't get angry or jealous when a challenge strikes. They are thoughtful people of high integrity capable of controlling themselves and making the right decisions under extreme pressure.

3. Motivation - the will to be enthusiastic and be driven internally when working on tasks, projects, and goals. Highly motivated people don't just wait to get motivated. They deliver results and their hard work brings more motivation. It's a positive reinforcing loop. The more you get done, the more you get motivated. Very important part of the EI equation.

4. Empathy - the ability to read, understand, and act appropriately on the emotions of other people. Such people are very good at understanding and appreciating cultural diversity, building healthy high-performing teams, and providing excellent service wherever they are. They avoid labelling, stereotyping, and judging people.

5. Social skills - the trait of people capable of building relationships, finding common ground, and respecting other people's interests. They resolve conflicts, inspire other people, and build effective teams.

Did you ever think about your IQ? Chances are you did. What about EQ? Any thoughts lately? Many people don't realize that EQ has IQ for breakfast. With that said, unless you develop algorithms for launching space crafts or similar problem solving related deliverables, your emotional intelligence is way more important than your IQ. People with EI skills have better relationships, more satisfying jobs with high income, better health, less problems, and overall are much happier individuals.

Why is that? It's simple.

Multiple studies confirm that EQ is more important than IQ in a variety of roles in the workplace.

One of the best way to learn new skills is to raise your awareness of the matter.

Start paying attention to top performers in your company. How do they treat people? How do they respond to disrespectful behaviour? How do they control their emotions and handle emotions of other people?

Be careful because some leaders have little EI skills. For example, it often happens in companies with poor leadership. Study emotional intelligence and only follow those people who demonstrate consistent EQ skills and high integrity.

It won't take a long time to prove to yourself that top performers are highly intelligent people when it comes to dealing with emotions.

A good way to learn is to learn by your own mistakes. A better way is to learn by other people's mistakes. Look around. It's easy to find examples of poor EI skills. People get emotional all the time. They argue, fight, get grumpy or even derail completely by getting out of control. Look for such examples everywhere.

This will give you a whole new perspective.

Analyze how the person who got out of control could have made a better decision had he had good EI skills. Avoid making the same mistakes. Resolve to behave intelligently if you get into the same situation yourself.

Constantly analyze your own behaviour when communicating with other people. Don't rush with conclusions. The best time to ponder is at the end of the day when your emotions don't clash with logical thinking. Self-analysis is a critical technique for improving your EQ.

Don't take credit, give it. People who don't care about taking credit and who genuinely praise others get more satisfaction in life.

You don't need recognition from someone for doing a great job. Do your best when no one else is watching and respect yourself for that.

People will notice your hard work and they will reward you in multiple ways without you having to ask for it.

Apologizing for hurting other people's feelings is a quality to respect for. Very few people do that. Such a difficult thing to do when your ego is big.

Kill your ego.

We all make mistakes. As you grow your EI skills, you will hurt others less and less until you become a master at managing your emotions. But in the meantime, put your ego aside, explain to the other person that you got a bit emotional. Not only will the person feel at ease often forgiving you but you yourself will feel much better.

Apologize. Such an important skill in life. You will respect yourself more for being able to admit your mistakes. Others will admire your for that as well. Just do it.

Successful people know their results in life is a reflection of their own efforts. They never blame anyone for where they are. They learn to take full responsibility even when it doesn't feel so.

You can always do better regardless of how unreasonable the other person is and how much injustice you feel.

Force yourself to ask 3 questions each time you don't feel comfortable about something:

• What can I learn from this experience?
• How can I become a better person?
• What could I have done better?

Asking these 3 questions in any negative situation will make all the difference in your life.

Don't let a negative situation to destroy your day. Use it selfishly. Learn from it. Win big when you lose.