Protect The Mind. Part 2 – Disengage From People
In the previous part of the mind protection series we talked about the 3 directions of defense in the process of protecting your mind from negative inputs.
In this part we are going straight into the first battle. It's time to deploy the first line of defense fighting against detrimental interactions with people.
Step 1 - Understanding The Enemy
See those orange bits in the below diagram? They are intruders from our mind model:
- negative and unconstructive criticism by people who want to hurt you intentionally, and
- words of discouragement from friends and family members who don't believe in you
Step 2 - Reverse Engineering The Attacks
Here is how the enemy attacks and what happens inside of the mind when those words of discouragement reach your ears.
The above results reinforcement cycle is crucial to understand if you want to break through in life and get the results. Check out our understand the mind series if you need more info on how the mind works.
Our thoughts shape the results in all facets of life. And the more you hear something unconstructive the more you think about it. The more you think, the more you do (or don't do) what you think about. This brings results. Positive or negative. And then this powerful reinforcement cycle continues.
How many people did you say you have in your life who keep discouraging you in one way or another?
Think about it.
Step 3 - Learning The Truth About Time
Looking at your photos from 5-10 years ago have you ever thought about how fast time flies ?
Here is the shocking truth. Time doesn't fly. You either use it wisely or it gets stolen by someone.
Want to have this perfect career, business, shape, family?
Stop others from stealing from you so you have enough time to achieve your dreams.
Step 4 - Preparing For The Attacks
Shockingly, most people don't even recognize the thieves. And as a result our time continues to get stolen every single day. Let's look at just a few examples to put it into perspective and be prepared to fight back when it happens.
Attack #1 - Unconstructive Criticism & Bullying
Bullies thrive by offending others. But it's not just the moment of attack that counts. It's numerous victim's time travels to the past replaying the scene over and over again.
Asking the "why would he do that to me?" question.
Imagining how the offender apolgizes, how something bad happens to him, or how he gets punished and struggles in life.
These are extremely dangerous attacks that destroy victim's self-image and kill confidence.
And very often the damage they make is permanent unless effective weapons are put in place to protect the perimeter of the mind.
Attack #2 - Discouragement From Friends And Family
Have you heard what happens to a crab trying to escape from a bucket ? Other crabs don't let the "freedom-seeker" go. They drag him back.
Who knows, With all the machine learning and artificial intelligence breakthroughs in recent years, we have not found a way to read crabs minds yet.
But the point is clear. When you try to advance ahead in life a lot of your friends will be dragging you back because they want you stay at the same level. They don't want to lose you.
Similarly, family members often try to overprotect us because they don't want us to fail. And they don't believe we can make it. Because no one has ever believed in them. And because they might not understand how the mind works.
The scariest thing here is that these are attacks in disguise because they are launched by family and friends.
Attack #3 - Useless Chatter
Being involved in useless conversations about neighbours, bosses, colleagues, clients, celebrities, and other people and events consume a huge part of our lives. These attacks appear to be harmless but they are in fact ruthless mind terrorists.
When you calculate the amount of time they add up to over the years you will be shocked. Fast forward to the end of your life when you will be asking where they time went. Would you be happy to admit to yourself that a dozen of years got wasted on stuff that doesn't matter at all?
Step 5 - Winning the battles
With the enemy being so strong how can you possibly defuse all of the attacks and win all of those battles saving dozens of years of your time for things that truly matter to you ?
There is only one answer.
Start adding effective weapons to your mental arsenal.
Let's take the enemy of useless chatter. "What?", I hear you asking. "There is a weapon for that?"
We call it "Switch The Context" weapon. Here is how to use it to protect your life:
Once you have recognized the attempt to get you involved in useless chatter switch the context by saying these exact 5 words: "That's interesting. By the way..." and immediately switch the topic to something constructive.
Notice how the wording is constructed in such a way that you respect what the person is saying by admitting that it's interesting. This is crucial. You must use these words to make it work. Otherwise, your interruption will appear rude.
The attack is defused and both of you are now spending your time wisely. Brilliant defense!
And this is just one of the many weapons you can use to continue effortlessly protecting the mind. Want to find out what the other weapons are? Check out the full suite of weapons for protecting the mind.
Otherwise, let's continue exploring the other 2 angles of attack your mind enemies use.
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