One Mistake Preventing Parents From Raising Respectful Kids
Whether your child shows early signs of disrespectful behaviour or constantly throws tantrums driving you crazy, you must stop it now until it gets too late.
"What is too late?" I hear you asking. If a lack of character and insecure future doesn't sound like a big deal think about early pregnancy, bullying, violence, drug abuse, criminal records, and a messed up life. The longer you wait to fix the problem the more serious the consequences become...
And you know what's strange?
A lot of us parents are completely oblivious. Either we don't do anything or we don't understand why our efforts bring little results. And we continue arguing with our kids all the time. Sadly, we also have to tolerate a weird feeling of "something is not quite right in our family no matter how hard I try as a parent".
Why kids behave disrespectfully
From the very young age the kids are conditioned to get what they want if they start crying. Remember those years of cuddling and nurturing your child? Running around and pleasing the baby to make them stop crying?
That's right. That's where they become addicted to demanding and getting whatever they want. And if they don't? Too bad for you mom (or dad)! Here I come again...
Crying, making sad faces, shouting and doing whatever it takes to get you or your spouse into the "pleasing mode" is what they are so good at. Why not? It's been working for so long time ever since they were born!
The ONE mistake nearly all parents make
So, what's the problem here? What's this crucial mistake nearly all of us make when raising kids?
It's negotiating with them on their terms when they are wrong. And giving in. You heard me right. If you are like most of us, you are a very bad negotiator. A negotiator who:
- doesn't set clear boundaries on which behaviour is acceptable and which is not
- doesn't introduce consequences for unacceptable behaviour or goes to another extreme by punishing too hard
- doesn't know what to, when, and how to improve the situation
And it doesn't mean you are a bad parent. It means you simply don't have a system in place on how to convert your loved one into a respectful individual with a great character. Someone who you will be proud of 100% of the time wherever you are and whatever happens.
But my situation is different !
You might be saying right now "It's all good but you have no idea what's happening in my life! My situation is unique. It's so tough! And my child is different to everyone else. How am I supposed to know how to fix that and where do I get the time?".
And I hear you.
Because I constantly interview parents without them knowing. I ask questions and listen. And I ask more questions. And I keep listening. And they tell me their stories. And you know what I found? There is always "BUT". They always bring something that serves as a comfortable shield for not taking action and not facing the problem.
We all have busy lives. Meanwhile, the clock is ticking and the situation is only getting worse every day...
Is there an answer?
Of course there is. But before we get there it's important to know what kind of parent you are.
You see, not every parent is the same. Some of us are too caring and too kind and too loving. We dislike the idea of introducing consequences for disrespectful behaviour. We don't want to upset our kids. We want to be loved. But that's not good for our kids.
Some of us are the opposite though. We scream at our kids all the time. We get very angry at them when they misbehave. We lose our cool easily.
And then there is everyone in between. And you know what?
These 3 different types of parents all make the same mistake of being bad negotiators. Some don't punish kids at all. Others overdo it. Either way, very few parents know what to do and how.
So, can you help me?
In order to help you transform your child into a respectful person of high integrity with a secure future I need to know more about your specific situation.
Therefore I am asking you to answer one simple question below.